I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
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