do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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