Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize