i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
