Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
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Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
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Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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