She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
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All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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