Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
