Christians are straight up FREAKS
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
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I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
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I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?