if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
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How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
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We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.