Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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