Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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