remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize