That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
