I swear she didn't look like that last week.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
