i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Randomize
