I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
