Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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