i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
