My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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