didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
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