I'm going to jail i love you
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
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