how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize