tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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