Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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