doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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