You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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