note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
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All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
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i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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