Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
