I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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