Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
