If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
