the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Damn victory sex feels great
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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