Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize