and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
