My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize