I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
