I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
