This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
