party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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