After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.