my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Let's paint friendship bongs
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..