Duck Duck Cougar?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone