the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?