Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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