his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
