I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
