Nicole vs. Life
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
