I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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