I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
