What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize