High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
