You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
