I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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