I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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