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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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