We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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