Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
