dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
