I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
