what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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