She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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