ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Can I color on your dick again?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
