So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize