You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize