You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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