Please, let me fuck your mom
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
i think i just naturally attract stoners
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
