Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize