been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
