May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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