just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
