I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
